Failing to touch
So many words left unspoken
Failure to touch
Your heart, like distant coasts
Unknown
Only ventured in the letters
It’s never enough
Failing to love, to be remembered
Failing to touch
So many words left unspoken
Failure to touch
Your heart, like distant coasts
Unknown
Only ventured in the letters
It’s never enough
Failing to love, to be remembered
Something strange in the way you set your head
Unmade by your gaze, dismantled by the vision
Often wishing, seldom coming true
Lost in a daze
Lost deep in thoughts of you
Reality, fused with fragments of a dream
Becoming seamless, building up
Piece by precious piece
I saw you last night, I called out your name
Passing out of sight, passing through walls
You were gone again
Shadow in the shade
Becoming one
A dream into memory
Remember me
The way I used to be
A few short steps behind
With all the world between
Six years of silence looms over me
Obelisk of regret
Blotting out the sun
Standing on my chest
Pressed against my heart
Struggling with the burden
Loss of self respect
Ashamed at the hurting
Was it worth it?
Not one single bit
Two thousand days wasted
A future traded for a fix
Well, it seems I’ve let my health slip too far into decline once again. There’s a fair chance this will be my final entry, yet I find there’s little I have left to say. I suppose after the amount of deeply introspective poetry I’ve written, most of the bases have been covered. I’ve loved and lost, lived and genuinely died, I’ve given, and sadly taken a life, and had second, third, even fourth chances to make things right. I want for little at this point in my short, but full existence. Naturally, I hold a wealth of regret that I’m sure to take to my grave, but the past can’t be changed. As I previously mentioned, there really isn’t much to say, other than to thank anyone who has ever taken the time to read one of my rambles, whether or not it was a poem. Know that my words carry the truth and essence of who I really am.
With love,
Justin Arthur Clapp – Lloyd
Expectations low
Just as I hold my head
Empty hands in fists
Never held outstretched
Circumstance
Guiding every step
Perceived and played a fool
Pretending that I am
Vacant
Mistaken
Expectations low
I know that some things aren’t for changing
I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’ll offer it to anyone
I’m easy to read, harder to love
Above me, dark clouds crowd the skyline
Eyes scan the edges, no silver to find
Sure signs of a storm
Easy to read
Complex in its’ form
I wish to fade to black
Awake to find it was a dream
Each new day begins, leaving more space in-between
Where I am, where I want to be
Turning the clocks back is not enough for me
I plead to turn back all the years
Return to a time when she was mine and I was hers
Each memory, a burr in my eye
A pain that I deserve for my part played in the lie
Her heart screamed for frequency
I took to drugs, silence and secrecy
Burning lightbulbs and bridges
Three years passed
Through the haze, I listed
When I regained sense
She appeared, but just for a moment
The favour returned
Four more years passed
I remain with the hurt
I’ve been a false idol
Cult like allure
Codependency
My time for their world
Those strange days of youth
Weak in the flesh
Words put to good use
The bond, quick to form
Letters to soothe
Patience to break the storm
Tore out my heart along the way
Realized what I’d become, never noticing the change
Oceans of bitter tears at the parting
I let it go to static
White noise and callous nothing
Alone now, on in years
Thought things were better off this way
No one left to hurt, nothing left to fear
No one to lead on, dreaming dreams of what can’t be
The dead end string of broken hearts, ending here with me
The final Autumn bloom, fighting for the light
Latecomer on the verge
Winter of its’ life
Rooted in a common place
Stunted by the weather
Trodden on by passing souls
Ashamed by shorter measure
Never looked upon with want
Never pressed between the pages
Laced with lonely “love me naughts”
Petals falling to the ground
Winter comes its’ way
No one here to bed me down