Dream Assembly

Something strange in the way you set your head

Unmade by your gaze, dismantled by the vision

Often wishing, seldom coming true

Lost in a daze

Lost deep in thoughts of you

Reality, fused with fragments of a dream

Becoming seamless, building up

Piece by precious piece

Before and Beyond

I saw you last night, I called out your name

Passing out of sight, passing through walls

You were gone again

Shadow in the shade

Becoming one

A dream into memory

Remember me

The way I used to be

A few short steps behind

With all the world between

One Last Dream of Mallory

Six years of silence looms over me

Obelisk of regret

Blotting out the sun

Standing on my chest

Pressed against my heart

Struggling with the burden

Loss of self respect

Ashamed at the hurting

Was it worth it?

Not one single bit

Two thousand days wasted

A future traded for a fix

Finality

Well, it seems I’ve let my health slip too far into decline once again. There’s a fair chance this will be my final entry, yet I find there’s little I have left to say. I suppose after the amount of deeply introspective poetry I’ve written, most of the bases have been covered. I’ve loved and lost, lived and genuinely died, I’ve given, and sadly taken a life, and had second, third, even fourth chances to make things right. I want for little at this point in my short, but full existence. Naturally, I hold a wealth of regret that I’m sure to take to my grave, but the past can’t be changed. As I previously mentioned, there really isn’t much to say, other than to thank anyone who has ever taken the time to read one of my rambles, whether or not it was a poem. Know that my words carry the truth and essence of who I really am.

With love,

Justin Arthur Clapp – Lloyd

Downcast

Expectations low

Just as I hold my head

Empty hands in fists

Never held outstretched

Circumstance

Guiding every step

Perceived and played a fool

Pretending that I am

Vacant

Mistaken

Expectations low

I know that some things aren’t for changing

A Storm’s Face

I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’ll offer it to anyone

I’m easy to read, harder to love

Above me, dark clouds crowd the skyline

Eyes scan the edges, no silver to find

Sure signs of a storm

Easy to read

Complex in its’ form

The Diner in The Trees

I wish to fade to black

Awake to find it was a dream

Each new day begins, leaving more space in-between

Where I am, where I want to be

Turning the clocks back is not enough for me

I plead to turn back all the years

Return to a time when she was mine and I was hers

Each memory, a burr in my eye

A pain that I deserve for my part played in the lie

Her heart screamed for frequency

I took to drugs, silence and secrecy

Burning lightbulbs and bridges

Three years passed

Through the haze, I listed

When I regained sense

She appeared, but just for a moment

The favour returned

Four more years passed

I remain with the hurt

Changes Unseen

I’ve been a false idol

Cult like allure

Codependency

My time for their world

Those strange days of youth

Weak in the flesh

Words put to good use

The bond, quick to form

Letters to soothe

Patience to break the storm

Tore out my heart along the way

Realized what I’d become, never noticing the change

Oceans of bitter tears at the parting

I let it go to static

White noise and callous nothing

Alone now, on in years

Thought things were better off this way

No one left to hurt, nothing left to fear

No one to lead on, dreaming dreams of what can’t be

The dead end string of broken hearts, ending here with me

Bloom and Blight

The final Autumn bloom, fighting for the light

Latecomer on the verge

Winter of its’ life

Rooted in a common place

Stunted by the weather

Trodden on by passing souls

Ashamed by shorter measure

Never looked upon with want

Never pressed between the pages

Laced with lonely “love me naughts”

Petals falling to the ground

Winter comes its’ way

No one here to bed me down